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Bill Cosby

Bill Cosby Quotes

Bill Cosby

William Henry “Bill” Cosby, Jr., (born July 12, 1937) is an American comedian, actor, author, television producer, educator, musician and activist. A veteran stand-up performer, he got his start at various clubs, then landed a starring role in the 1960s action show, I Spy. He later starred in his own sitcom, The Bill Cosby Show. He was one of the major characters on the children’s television series The Electric Company for its first two seasons, and created the educational cartoon comedy series Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids, about a group of young friends growing up in the city. Cosby has also acted in a number of films.


1. I DON’T KNOW THE KEY TO SUCCESS, BUT THE KEY TO FAILURE IS TRYING TO PLEASE EVERYONE.

2. IN ORDER TO SUCCEED, YOUR DESIRE FOR SUCCESS SHOULD BE GREATER THAN YOUR FEAR OF FAILURE.

3. WOMEN DON’T WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOU THINK. WOMEN WANT TO HEAR WHAT THEY THINK – IN A DEEPER VOICE.

4. YOU CAN TURN PAINFUL SITUATIONS AROUND THROUGH LAUGHTER. IF YOU CAN FIND HUMOR IN ANYTHING, EVEN POVERTY, YOU CAN SURVIVE IT.

5. EVERY CLOSED EYE IS NOT SLEEPING, AND EVERY OPEN EYE IS NOT SEEING.

6. ALWAYS END THE NAME OF YOUR CHILD WITH A VOWEL, SO THAT WHEN YOU YELL THE NAME WILL CARRY.

7. LET US NOW SET FORTH ONE OF THE FUNDAMENTAL TRUTHS ABOUT MARRIAGE: THE WIFE IS IN CHARGE.

8. I GUESS THE REAL REASON THAT MY WIFE AND I HAD CHILDREN IS THE SAME REASON THAT NAPOLEON HAD FOR INVADING RUSSIA: IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME.

9. NO MATTER HOW CALMLY YOU TRY TO REFEREE, PARENTING WILL EVENTUALLY PRODUCE BIZARRE BEHAVIOR, AND I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE KIDS. THEIR BEHAVIOR IS ALWAYS NORMAL.

10. AND SO THE DENTIST SAYS ‘RINSE.’ SO YOU LEAN OVER, AND YOU’RE LOOKIN’ AT THIS MINIATURE TOILET BOWL.

11. HUMAN BEINGS ARE THE ONLY CREATURES THAT ALLOW THEIR CHILDREN TO COME BACK HOME.

12. HAVING A CHILD IS SURELY THE MOST BEAUTIFULLY IRRATIONAL ACT THAT TWO PEOPLE IN LOVE CAN COMMIT.

13. I AM PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN. BECAUSE AN AMERICAN CAN EAT ANYTHING ON THE FACE OF THIS EARTH AS LONG AS HE HAS TWO PIECES OF BREAD.

14. THROUGH HUMOR, YOU CAN SOFTEN SOME OF THE WORST BLOWS THAT LIFE DELIVERS. AND ONCE YOU FIND LAUGHTER, NO MATTER HOW PAINFUL YOUR SITUATION MIGHT BE, YOU CAN SURVIVE IT.

15. NOTHING SEPARATES THE GENERATIONS MORE THAN MUSIC. BY THE TIME A CHILD IS EIGHT OR NINE, HE HAS DEVELOPED A PASSION FOR HIS OWN MUSIC THAT IS EVEN STRONGER THAN HIS PASSIONS FOR PROCRASTINATION AND WEIRD CLOTHES.

16. THE ESSENCE OF CHILDHOOD, OF COURSE, IS PLAY, WHICH MY FRIENDS AND I DID ENDLESSLY ON STREETS THAT WE RELUCTANTLY SHARED WITH TRAFFIC.

17. AND OF COURSE, WHEN YOU SEE YOUR BROTHER IN THE TOILET BOWL…THERE’S A LITTLE VOICE THAT SAY, ‘I WONDER WHERE HE WOULD GO…’…IF IT HADN’T BEEN FOR HIS HEAD…

18. PEOPLE CAN BE MORE FORGIVING THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE. BUT YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE YOURSELF. LET GO OF WHAT’S BITTER AND MOVE ON.

19. I DON’T KNOW THE KEY TO SUCCESS; BUT, THE KEY TO FAILURE IS TRYING TO PLEASE EVERYBODY.

20. THAT’S WHY EARS HAVE CARTILAGE, TO KEEP THEM FROM FLAPPING.

21. IS THE GLASS HALF FULL, OR HALF EMPTY? IT DEPENDS ON WHETHER YOU’RE POURING, OR DRINKING.

22. A WORD TO THE WISE AIN’T NECESSARY – IT’S THE STUPID ONES THAT NEED ADVICE.

23. WOMEN DON’T WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOU THINK. WOMEN WANT TO HEAR WHAT THEY THINK—IN A DEEPER VOICE.

24. THERE IS HOPE FOR THE FUTURE BECAUSE GOD HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR AND WE ARE FUNNY TO GOD.

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